The Big V (Venue, of Course), Part 2
A big part of my job, for a long time, was teaching people about finding a venue. Even if somebody didn’t end up getting married at the venue I worked at, I would talk to them later, and they would be thankful they came.
One couple in particular disappointed me at first, when they told me on the phone that they had chosen another venue.
“But wait,” said the groom, “I’ve been waiting for you to call and check in on us. I wanted to tell you- even though we aren’t getting married with you, we are so grateful. We learned so much, and meeting with you helped us make the best decision for us about where we wanted to get married. So thank you.”
I could have cried. That was always the best feeling. Even if someone didn’t get married where I worked, I hoped they could walk away knowing more, being able to make a better decision. So, without further delay, here’s how to find that venue, friends.
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First, you can do this.
There is absolutely a venue that you will love, and it is in your budget. I promise you, it exists. So put that in your front pocket, and take it out when you need to be reminded.
Second, you should not get married somewhere that you don’t like, just because it is in your budget. And truly, you don’t have to. Yes, you will have to be more creative with a smaller budget. But I got married in the front half of an old, refurbished warehouse that used to be a Sam’s Club. The back of the warehouse was actively used by an office furniture salesmen. So, although nobody could see it, I got married next to an office furniture distributor. We could have all grabbed a wheely-chair and raced around the concrete floor. If I did it (and by the way, it took some work, but my wedding venue turned out amazing- no regrets) you can do it, too.
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How to choose somewhere that won’t make you cry:
I have secret-shopped countless venues area, and here’s what I’ve found: They all do their pricing differently. Besides the listed above ideas, venue shopping is hard because it is NOT, at all, easily comparable. And to break down all those different costs, side by side, and make them comparable is a lot of work. It’s spreadsheet-type work, too, which is my dad’s favorite thing, and potentially my least favorite.
And as much as all left-brained, creative humans like me, who love to decorate and hate to stay on budget dislike this step, it is really, really important. This will be the difference between knowing everything now, and being shocked with prices for trash removal at the end of the night.
There were some places we left that only gave us the price for 100 people, even when I said I had 150 guests. Some places didn’t include alcohol, or security for alcohol service, or the costs of parking, or the costs of a back-up option in case it rains. These are all things that are there, and you need to find out about.
Some venues will absolutely send you home with a bunch of separate numbers, hoping that you won’t do the math. Be the kind of person who does the math if they won’t. Also, if you ask nicely, they should. If they won’t, then that might say something about the kind of business they are running. If you can’t trust a venue to show you the whole cost up front, do you actually trust them? Should you?
When interviewing venues (that is what you are doing!) ask yourself, when choosing somewhere, if you like, and trust, whoever you are talking to. The person in front of you is who this venue, this company, chose to represent them. What do you think of them?
Choose people who are treating you well, and professionally. Think of it as a first date. These people are trying to get you to go all the way with them- so they are (hopefully) wanting to put their best foot forward. If you don’t enjoy their best foot, you aren’t going to enjoy them ten dates in, when they’ve let their hair down a bit. (By the way, I wholeheartedly believe that this goes for all vendors you are considering for your wedding. I don’t care how talented a photographer is- if you don’t like talking to them, then you shouldn’t use them.)
At the end of the day, go with your gut. When something fits, you just know. The way you usually know is that you won’t want to leave. Your venue tour will be over, and you’ll ask the person you met with if you can keep walking around, and you feel the urge to lay down and make yourself at home in a patch of grass. That is a good sign. If you feel comfortable, and you feel like yourself enough to hang out without anybody chaperoning or touring you, you might have hit a jackpot.