The Big V (Venue of Course),Part 1
Photo by: @fallonmichaeltx
For every friend who has gotten engaged, every couple who sat down in my office looking terrified, I said the same thing:
“Venue is the hardest part.”
To them, upon hearing me say it, then repeat it, then put both hands on the table, lean forward towards them, and say it again, it is both good news, and bad news.
The good news?
It gets easier. The hardest part is right now, the very first thing that you really go out and do in planning a wedding. The biggest mountain is the first one you climb in this journey.
The bad news?
As I mentioned, it’s the first thing. Which would mean that at the time I’m saying those words to you (don’t forget them- venue is the hardest part!) you’re crying, because you feel it. Every couple can feel the stress and the rising weight of the importance of this first, big decision.
Here’s why venue is the hardest part:
1) When you think about venue, you can’t help but think about a date. My sweet, sweet grandma- I called her and told her the news an hour after we got engaged, and her natural response was “Well, when will it be?!” Grandma, I said, I love you, and I need you to chill. It feels like I’ve only been engaged for a hot five minutes. Give me some time. Everyone will ask. You can be prepared with a sassy response, or just politely tell them that you are taking your time, figuring out what will work best. But know that it’s coming, and it makes it feel like there is a lot of pressure, and it would be easier to just pick somewhere so you can finally tell people when it is. If you don’t have a venue, you don’t know what day it will be, and once you finally pick somewhere, that pressure will be lifted. But people are dramatic, and they think they just can’t wait for you to pick a date. Trust me- they can wait. They will be fine. Take as much time as you need, and don’t let other people pressure you.
2) It’s expensive. This is the first major purchase you will make, and with more and more venues being “all inclusive”, that means you are putting down an even bigger amount.
3) The first time you put down money somewhere is the first time you really commit. I get that you already said yes, and that was a big deal, but there’s something nuts about handing over a credit card. It’s an added weight, and added pressure of the venue making it “official” in everyone’s eyes. You can’t post that instagram with a picture of you two kissing, saying, “I can’t wait until 3829357235 days from now when we are married!” until you’ve committed like that.
4) It is one of the biggest impacts on how your wedding will look and feel. You can choose to do your wedding in a barn, or an art museum, or a country club, or go rogue like me and choose a warehouse, but they are all really, really different, and they will communicate very different things. The venue is the beginning of crafting a feel for your wedding, and “look” for your event, and that feels like an added pressure, as well- the fear of getting it wrong, or not liking it.
The Big V, Part 2 continues here.